


Eye of the Needle

by reaperlove



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Blood, Hurt, Hurt Dean Winchester, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Teen Dean, Teenchesters, takes place after past events of 9.07 Bad Boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-24
Updated: 2015-11-24
Packaged: 2018-05-03 02:59:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5273942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reaperlove/pseuds/reaperlove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean gets hurt during the first hunt after his father picked him up from Sonny`s. He has to focus on the present and let go of the past while he stitches up his wound .</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eye of the Needle

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Игольное ушко](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5940136) by [gemoprod](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gemoprod/pseuds/gemoprod)
  * Translation into Русский available: [Игольное ушко](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5940136) by [gemoprod](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gemoprod/pseuds/gemoprod)



> My angsty headcanon for what happened after Dean had to leave Robin behind combined with my headcanon of how Dean had to stitch up a wound all alone for the first time.

 

Dean could feel the accelerated heartbeat in his chest, hear the rush of blood in his ears, taste the metallic flavor of fear on his  tongue. He was slowly coming down from the adrenaline rush of the hunt. What should have been an easy salt and burn case had almost turned into a total disaster.

 

_You’re either in or out boy, everything in between, that’s what’s gets you killed._ He heard his father’s stern voice demanding him to get his head back into the game and stop fantasizing about some silly girl he left back at Sonny’s. He hadn’t wanted to disappoint the man any further, wanted to prove his loyalty and worth. That`s why he had  volunteered  to get rid of a vengeful spirit haunting a farm in a small Indiana town.  

 

It should have been no big deal, he knew the location of the remains, all he had to do was dig them up and burn them. But his concentration had slipped, his mind went back to Robin’s voice singing to him, telling him about the promise of a future spent together, of a normal life. The ghost had pushed him hard, the sharp edge of the shovel sliced through the fabric of his jeans, through the soft flesh of his right thigh. He’d managed to turn around and set fire to the bones before the spirit had time to attack again.  Dean had cursed himself and made the drive back to the motel he stayed in with Sam and his father, soaking the leather seat in his own blood.

 

He still stood outside the room, listened for any noise that indicated his family was still awake. He could not let them see his injury, his failure. He imagined the disappointed look on his father’s face, the fear in Sammy’s eyes. He could not let them down again. The pain helped to ground himself against the nausea and lightheadedness he was experiencing and tried to ignore the now steady trickle of blood down his inner thigh.

 

He entered the dark room, saw with relief the outlines of his sleeping father, hands still wrapped around an empty liquor bottle. He wouldn’t wake up soon. Dean slowly crept towards his brother’s bed and found him fast asleep. He prayed his dad hadn’t started to drink in front of Sam.

 

Dean silently closed the bathroom door behind him, switched on the light and started to carefully peel off his jeans. He hissed at the sight of the deep gash, an about 2 inches long, gaping wound. Just an inch higher and he would have cut his femoral artery and sure as hell bled to death. He angrily blinked away the tears stinging in his eyes.  Be a man about it,  he berated himself, his father would want him to be. Cautiously he started to pour water over the wound, clenched his teeth together hard against the sharp pain. Fuck, he’d definitely need stitches if he wanted to stop the bleeding. He’d have to do it himself.

 

His trembling fingers dug through the small medical supply kit they always carried with them. He thought back to all the other times his dad, Bobby or pastor Jim had to patch him up after a rough encounter with a supernatural creature, never a physician, never an emergency doctor, never risking to alert the CPS, having Sammy taken away from him. This time he had to do it alone, it was all his fault, he had to carry the consequences, not let them see he failed them again, be strong for fucks sake!

 

_Be brave_ , he heard his mother’s soft timbre.  _Family always_ comes first , his father’s deep baritone. He succeeded in threading a string of floss through the eye of the needle he found, took a deep breath and dug it into his tender flesh.

 

The first stitch, he let go of the memory of auburn locks glistening in the sun, concentrated on the look of Sam’s always a little too long, shaggy brown hair.

 

The second stitch he let go of the sound of a guitar playing only for him and focused on the memory of his mother’s voice singing Hey Jude.

 

The third stitch he let go of the sweet smell of perfume and sun kissed skin, replaced it with leather and motor oil, the familiar scent of home.

 

The fourth stitch he let go of the taste of banana pancakes and syrup, concentrated on the memory of mac n’ cheese mixed with marshmallow fluff.

 

The last stitch he let go of the light brush of soft lips against his, focused on the tight hug Sam gave him when they were finally together again.

  
Dean meticulously cleaned the bathroom and washed the bloody stains out of his jeans. He didn’t want to leave behind any traces of his past errors. From now on he would always watch out for Sammy and be a brave man. He would never let anything come between him and his family ever again

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> My eternal gratefulness goes to [CopaceticBrainBox](http://archiveofourown.org/users/CopaceticBrainBox/pseuds/CopaceticBrainBox) for betaing and being an all around wonderful human being and encouraging me to keep writing, as well as the amazing [Angrysouffle](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Angrysouffle). Thank you so very much for all your kind words and patience. please read all their fics, they are awesome!
> 
> Please visit me on [tumblr](http://reaperlove77.tumblr.com/)!


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